New Coats, Tears, and Hair Dye

It seems in life that we must change to survive. I had realized this today when I was at Jocelyn's. I'll start at the beginning of my day. I was driven to work by my friend's mom, a.k.a my mom, and all seemed well until my boss arrived. She had no hesitation in notifying me that I have not been pulling my weight. I would had like to punch her in the face and say "You try pulling your weight when for every step you take forward you move ten steps back you fat fucking whore", but I maintained my composure, continuing my shift. 

After work I had been picked up to go back to my friends house and on the way we picked up my friend Kat. I was glad to be picking up Kat, I don't see her that often, but when we had got home my emotions overpowered my logic and I fell into a spiral of sadness and woe. I had felt as though no one had cared that I was sad, or even existed...

A while later I had overcame this feeling to some extent and found the urge to dye my hair. I will not say which color but it is quite a change! I also bought a new jacket that I am loving, it is unique and stylish, while providing heat, things a gay man needs!

I don't know what the future holds but I'm not afraid to face the dawn.

Today I wonder if I will ever be the same. Things go great and suddenly your world is turned upside down. I started my day with the usual amount of inthusiasm, which is about the same as an obese panda would for running a marathon, and I couldn't help but wonder if I was stuck in a rut. As the day carried on, I grew more comfortable and loosened up a bit; cracking jokes, talking to friends, and learning as much as our school system would allow.
After the school bell had signaled a much awaited end to the school day, I stumbled upon Emily in the hall, whom I quickly kidnapped to my house to watch Sex and the City and relax a bit with. We assumed our roles as best friends quickly as new inside jokes and laughter spewed forth from our bodies.
At Emily's departure I began to charge my Ipod when I received an urgent call from my sister, a women who I later learned was in great peril. Suffice to say, my mood completely changed and I have been thrown into a world of chaos and confusion. But I remained strong for my sister and said all the right things, an ability I learned I had after I stopped planning what to say.
All I can say for sure is, day by day, all we can do is our best, and can't be expected to do anything more.

Of snow, rain, boredom, and Silent Hill

Today is a bit slow, nothing exciting in particular is happening... A big thanks to Emily for fixing my music, but awkwardly, the first song, which should be Imogen Heap's "Loose Ends", is a song from one of my favorite games Silent Hill! If I don't blog again.... I'm dead.
The snow falling outside makes me wonder if it will ever be warm again. Everything seems so depressing in winter. There is a darkness looming overhead that in itself is exquisite, however tormenting.
I found myself locked on to ANTM on youtube, a habit I do when I am bored and eat too much. I wonder what tomorrow will bring, or even today... I have a Jiu Jitsu dan test tonight that I find particularly daunting, considering that I psyche myself out of anything where I am being judged.
With all things harsh there is a warmth in the core, and to every warmth there is a tempest raging within, I just seem to be in the eye of the storm.

Ice Cream, Couches, Abortions, and The Church of Judgement

Sometimes you have to wonder what would happen if people acted the way they did alone all of the time. Today started in a heap of confusion (don't they all : D) and all had been well. I felt a bit odd; the day was moving slow and yet fast at the same time... During guidence seminar I was a bit down because of my low gpa. We were talking about colleges and I kept wondering if I was hopeless myself. Much to my surprise I found I could do well in a standard college.
After school me and Emily decided to frolic downtown to Crazy Jane's, a truly crazy place in which pictures attack you and tables are too small to seat two. We sucked down our drinks and laughed at our personal jokes (PAM IS DEAD!) and skipped over to dance class of doom and Ts.
I encountered a couch with the magical ability to force one into sleep, and I watched a riveting show called "Mononoke" in which a woman was attempting to keep her unborn baby protected from lab coated abortion minions of evil! Under the couch's influence I dozed off into a state of comatose, soon relieved by Emily's arrival post-dance.
With a hug and a snug we were off to the library, which we found to be developed into a cyber-prison of change.
Two dollars later we were on the computers signing up for BLOGGER!
About twenty minutes later we strolled over to the church to babysit some kids (poor kids)
and food, glorious glorious food!
An assholy pastor and a few inferrals later me and Emily were officially a couple! (Last time I checked I still love penis) But in the true Emily way we brushed it off and had a nice phone conversation.
I guess in the end all you need is a friend, ice cream, and a good phone call.